thezapping second annual city centre crash pad Christmas party!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Posted by Paul 10:50 pm 3 comments
The Holiday Diaires: Gran Canaria Nov 06 Days 6&7
Saturday, December 09, 2006
Thursday 30th November 2006
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READ: Another Entertainment Weekly; more Son Of A Witch
WATCHED: The OC 401 & 402
LISTENED: Simon Curtis' Alter Boy; Wicked cast recording
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Having the night off from booze did me the world of good. I think my body was still osmosing the green evil as I stepped into the shower. L'Oreal's new showerburst stuff is incredibly foamy. I just love getting lathered up!
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We went for quite the nice walk along the epic sand dunes of Playa and Maspalomas (and heeded the advice of SDB from Switch22 not to get lost as it's a notorious gay pick up place!). There was a smashing little breeze and Darren and I gabbed ten to the dozen about everything and nothing, which made the time pass surprisingly quickly! It's a hefty hike however (ooo good alliteration) so we were a bit lazy, caught a taxi back and then had lunch and did bugger all for the rest of the afternoon!
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In the evening we frequented our new favourite dive, bar Ibiza – home of the green evil. The owners are quite lovely, they have great sketch show selections playing on the big screen and I bonded with them over my love and knowledge of early Depeche Mode. We then bar-hopped for a little while before ending up back at bar Ibiza. The slightest whiff of the green evil churned my stomach so I stuck to the juice (no Gin). Daz got hammered though so I did my normal trick I do when I want to go home – ask him if he is hungry and then wait for his stomach to catch up to the suggestion. We were soon at Kentucky. I've never seen anyone so happy to eat a tower burger. It was embarrassing. He practically made love to it. Him and that tower burger should have got a room. And then my trick worked – he was tired and wanted to go back! So we did. And then we got a room. Twice. If you know what I mean ;)
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MP3: Simon Curtis – Left Right Left
MP3: Wicked – For Good
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Friday 1st December 2006
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READ: Gay Times; finished Son of a Witch; started Ben Elton's Chart Throb
WATCHED: Nothing!
LISTENED: Kylie 'White Diamond'; Aly & AJ's Acoustic Hearts of Winter
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Last day :( But viva December! My ultimate most favourite delicious lovely month of the year. If December were a man (which I'm pretty sure it is. A gay one at that – all that sparkle and tinsel?!) I would show how much I love it by gently surprising it with my lovestick from behind. If you know what I mean. DazPoked knows what I mean ;) Mom and Dad, gloss over this and don't even dwell upon it!!
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Went for a mammoth festive shopping session at Springfield, Zara and Pull&Bear. DazPurchase got some new shirts, while – apart from a kicky pair of new trousers – I went for accessories: an ace new belt, snugly new pair of gloves, scarf, etc. it's all in the details. I'm always thrilled to get Christmas themed shopping bags too. I remember a brilliant one from a few years back from Abercrombie with a half naked boy with a santa cap on. Smashing…
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Went for a lovely meal out and looked at the massive red candle laded ribbon laid out in tribute to World Aids Day. Quite sobering – however the centre was bathed in twinkling fairy lights and with lots of fundraising going on, it seemed like a lovely heartfelt tribute.
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Journey home tomorrow – I have saved some Veronica mars to watch on the plane and have the very excellent and very readable Chart Throb to plough through too!!
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MP3: Kylie – White Diamond (live)
MP3: Aly & AJ – deck the halls
MP3: Rockapella – leaving on a jet plane
Posted by Paul 11:58 pm 0 comments
The Holiday Diaries: Gran Canaria Nov 06 Days 4-5
Tuesday 28th November 2006
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READ: FHM Magazine; Finished Skeleton Key
WATCHED: Desperate Housewives 309; Smallville 601
LISTENED: Darin's Break The News cd; Lockdown sampler
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The morning after the night before. Which is a pretty obvious statement really isn't it and I have no idea why people put such an emphasis on it in British society. But enough deliberations on ruminations… DazPoorly felt a little worse for wear so we went for a walk around Playa to catch some sun and get some exercise. I love the way Darren and I can wander comfortably in silence, but then be brimming with enthusiasm and excitement over some random thought that has popped into our head. Brillo!
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Another night out started with a jugful of cocktails at Bar Ibiza. What a lethal mistake. The thing was brimming with alcohol and after a couple of glasses of the green concoction, I was most definitely three sheets to the proverbial wind. So everything after that was a bit of a blur. I seem to recall being a very enthusiastic audience member at a half empty La Belle and being given a bottle of champagne that apparently I can canned my way to the stage to accept. And I kind of recall being very exuberant and flirtatious at Centre stage whilst knocking back the Malibu and pineapples. And I remember making Darren a tuna, sweetcorn, cheese and mayo sandwich that was no doubt delicious. But what stands out most in my mind is how horribly horribly sick I was for a good 60 minutes before I somehow managed to drag my drunk arse to bed and pass out as the darkness of the spinning room closed in on me….
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MP3: Darin – Insanity
MP3: Lockdown – You've Got It
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Wednesday 29th November 2006
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READ: The Take That issue of Attitude (finally!); started rereading Son Of A Witch (wicked sequel)
WATCHED: Smallville 602 and 603
LISTENED: Beyond sampler; Chorus Line 2006 cast recording
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I have definitely got the drinkers remorse L Truthfully, I'm not actually that much of a drinker – I don't drink at home and I don't feel the need to drink everytime I go out. Probably stems from my mormon upbringing! So I did indeed feel rough this morning. Little DazPity took me for a greasy breakfast which actually helped stem the queasiness for a while.
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Both of us felt the need for a night off from the booze and the partying so we had a nice evening out watching some over 50s international gym festival which bizarrely featured line dancers with umbrellas! Ummm, okay… We also wandered around the shops – the Yumbo Centrum actually has some great clothes shops which will be testing my credit card later this week. Oh and we had a lovely Chinese meal and the freshest, most delicious orange juice I've ever tasted. My system must have absorbed the vitamin c tout de suite…
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I'm quite enjoying the addition of Oliver Queen (the Green Arrow) to Smallville. I would like to see him and Robin Hood tustle… Catching up and only on episode three of the new season means I'm somewhat behind, but it was nice to hear James Carrington's gorgeous Ache over the closing scene that showed how alone Clark is by featuring shots of Chloe with Jimmy Olsen, Lana with Lex and Lois with Oliver. Poor Clarky is all alone playing with his ball. How sad :(
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MP3: Beyond – Just Don't Have The Heart
MP3: Chorus Line – what I did for love
MP3: James Carrington - ache
Posted by Paul 6:13 am 1 comments
The Holiday Diaries: Gran Canaria Nov 2006 - day 3
Monday, December 04, 2006
Monday 27th November 2006
READ: 2 Entertainment Weeklys; more of Skeleton Key
WATCHED: Brothers and Sisters 108 & 109
LISTENED: Take That's Beautiful World cd; Dina Carroll – Escaping
BOUGHT: Lip balm and a newspaper
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Not so lazy today (although still fairly high on the lazy-o-meter!) Went to local shopping centre Alantico. Was all decked out and festive and lovely, although I still can't imagine Christmas in the heat. DazPernot was too tired to even pretend to be interested in my clothes shopping needs so we are going to come later in the week for all my fashion essentials. Just went to supermarket to get some food and lip balm to make my dry crackly lips all kissable again (I hope Ruthiepoos never has this problem!) The amount of people just throwing a cow leg or pig rump into their carts was staggering. These things ain't light either. I walked into one hanging on a rack and it nearly knocked me over. I am pretty fragile though…
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Later, after a game of upwords (it was a draw for the first time ever – though DazPoints did manage to get the highest single score ever. 40. Kudos), some boozy refreshments and DazPast miming in just his socks to several vintage Tina Turner songs, we decided to hit the town…
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In retrospect, allowing DazPlastered to have something called "a large beer" all night was an error in judgement. It will be easier for me to list the mishaps that ensued…
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~Choosing a rare moment of quiet in the bar to do a very loud Catherine Tate impression
~Falling off his barstool and literally breaking the wall behind him, then collapsing on the floor in a fit of giggles while rest of the bar assessed the quite substantial damage
~Drunkenly, but good humouredly trying to blame said wall on innocent guy passing by for bathroom
~As I apologised on his behalf to the barstaff (who didn't care anyway) that he was very sorry (I had ordered him in my fiercest voice to look contrite), I turned around to see he had chosen that very moment to "mock" anally probe some random guy with a glow stick that he had just been given!
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It got worse when we left the bar. The five minute journey home took forty minutes, largely because of the following…
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~thinking a fence looked "sad" so he decided to give it a hug?!?!
~Finding a hatch in the fence and spending several minutes shouting hello and tapping it to see if the 'others' were on the other side
~Waving flirtatiously at every single car that passed by
~Telling me in what I can only imagine he thought was a "quiet" voice that the woman approaching (who was less than 10 metres away) was tiny. Then as she passed by, he bent over and said "hello" as the poor, not particularly short lass scuttled by
~As we approached the complex, I warned Darren to be quiet. He took this to mean tiptoe-in-cartoon-exaggerated-style through the lobby with his fingers on his lips before collapsing into giggles every 2 steps and starting over again
Finally got him home and tucked up in bed. Season 4 Buffy was right – beer bad ;)
MP3: Take That – Reach Out
MP3: Dina Carroll - Escaping
Posted by Paul 10:44 pm 0 comments
The holiday diaries: Gran Canaria Nov 2006
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How come if Gran Canaria is "only" four hours away, it takes so long to get there? Travel to and from airports, check in time, waiting for luggage = 2 grumpy travellers. And it all started off so well…
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we woke at 6.30am and by the time we had showered and had coffee, DazProzac was extremely overstimulated and dancing round the living room in his Hanes (see they aren't just for Jessica Simpson!) It's certainly a mental image that will never leave me. Because we wanted infinitely better flight times, we chose to fly from Manchester airport. In the words of Catherine Tate's Mrs Taylor – worra load of old shit. The departure lounge had too many things all crammed together, the shops were appallingly laid out and there weren't enough seats. It's one redeeming feature was (naturally) a starbucks, so DazPleasureBeach and I enjoyed a nice panini and coffee. Yummers.
The flight was pretty good – we got exit seats so were able to stretch out and relax. Apart from the grumbling of the old man next to us – he didn't like the announcements; the gay trolley dolly was too enthusiastic; the captain was two minutes out when he announced the local time; I was disturbing him when I had my reading light on, etc., etc. Still, it helped us bond with the cabin staff by sharing discreet and then not so discreet looks and rolling eyes. I had my mp3/video player so listened to the new antonym callea (meh) and Westlife's The Love Album. I also watched Not Another Gay Movie – a film so politically incorrect, that I'm sure I should have been offended by the lazy stereotypes. But I wasn't. I thought it was pretty funny. Clearly, though, nobody in England would buy Graham Norton as sexy – and I certainly won't look at him the same way again after his Belgian surprise (a scene that took me so much by surprise that I accidentally hit the slow reverse button and got to watch it all "go back in").
After landing and picking up our rental car (a Renault Clitoris or some such nonsense), we dumped our cases and went out for a boogie. Only, we were shattered and tia maria & orange juice only added to the tiredness and made us delirious. After being unable to decide whether two drag queens doing Heads, Shoulders, Knees & Toes was an illusion or not (it wasn't :O ), we decided to pop into brill musicals bar, Centre Stage to see our friend Gez. Kept eyes open long enough to catch up on the gossip/sing a few Chicago numbers/do various Catherine Tate impressions, before I dragged an almost catatonic DazPlastered home and lay awake for forty minutes listening to him moan "I'm so tired…" Still, got some good snuggling out of it though….
MP3: Antony Callea – Home
MP3: Westlife – The Dance
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Sunday 26th November 2006
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READ: Q Magazine; started Skeleton Key (alex rider)
WATCHED: Nip/Tuck 411; Prison Break 212
LISTENED: Simon Curtis' "Put Your Makeup On"; Switch22's "Back To The Dancefloor"
BOUGHT: David Beckham's Instinct.
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What a lazy day we had. We both hauled ourselves out of bed at about 11am, went for a little walk around before deciding that we were too tired for such exertions and headed back to our little bungalow for some lunch and a spot of sunbathing before a "power" nap that 'accidentally' lasted til 7pm. Oops…#
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Decided to eat at nearby restaurant for dinner and I had quite a tasty lasagne. Darren stretched his culinary palete by having a baked potato with cheese. (something kinda) ooh! Still, to be fair it did look quite tasty….
Went to La Belle Showbar where I had the world's largest ever white Russian drink. I mean it was just ridiculously huge :O The glass and contents alone were heavy, yet somehow – just somehow – I managed to choke it down. I was soon quite tipsy and was babbling on about a load of crap to DazPatience whose eyes soon became so iced over you could have skated on them. So we moved onto Centre Stage (which was spookily playing clips from Moulin Rouge the same day that Poppostergirl was posting about it. Fancy!) where we got chatting to a perfectly lovely married couple (I always notice if the gays are wearing rings)who made such an impact that their names escape me right now… Oops part two…#.
At some point in the evening, DazPanicAtTheDisco surpassed me in the drunken monkey stakes. I can pinpoint the exact second that happened – I came out of the bathroom to see my man waving his t-shirt around his head and dancing with some common navvy. Shocking. Although, clearly I wasn't shocked enough not to whip out the camera and take a topless pic, hehe ;) Said navvy then asked if I wanted a threesome. I swear it is the single gays latest hobby, picking up the married gays. I think I was quite polite and restrained in my response ("step off and take yo eyes of ma man". Or "no" probably…) Ended the night dancing to Ain't No Other Man and realising that as a song, it's not as good as it thinks it is 
Posted by Paul 12:45 pm 4 comments
The Zapping Holiday Diaries: Los Angeles/Las Vegas May 2004
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
i am currently uncomfortable and flying several thousand feet over nova scotia or someone equally lovely as i write this so i will combine my saturday and sunday journal entries with this trip home.I have been to several all you can eat buffets this week and have come to two conclusions: one - it is entirely wasted on me. I can barely get through a full plate and then always feel guilty for not finishing it and feel guilty for not eating more. So i come out with a distended belly and weighed down by guilt. Not a good combination... two - some people seem to think the all you can eat logo is their own personal challenge and pile their plate sky high as they sink their chompers into a whole fried chicken. I don't know whether to admire them or fear them (i certainly get the impression that i would lose an eye if i got between them and the dessert cart.)
Saturday was las vegas gay pride. It was the least proud convention i have ever seen. It was held in some out of town disused sports hall that you had to pay $12 to get into and all that was inside were some vendors and a dj. Apparently last year the organiser did a runner with all the money the night before pride. I think that person did the las vegas gay community a favour - they have been very poorly represented. At least i now can't wait for Birmingham pride back home...
I swear the guy in front of me is the heaviest guy in the world. I am all for reclining the seat but i could practically do dental work on this chap. I should too - he has a nasty molar that needs filling. dentists are nasty - mine always jams the aspirator right into my cheek so i walk round for the next week with only one cheek. (I would like to point out that i of course mean the cheek on my face - god only knows what would happen if he jammed the aspirator into my other cheek )
I despise the middle seat as it has now caused me the most amount of embarrassment that is possible (even more than the tampon up my nose on the way here). I had already asked the guy next to me to move three times so i could pee/brush my teeth/stretch my legs and i couldn't wake him so i thought that i could just stand on my seat and climb over him without waking him (what was i thinking ) i not only whacked my head very hard on the air blowy hole thing and said fuck extremely loudly but then as i put my leg over him i realised it was a very bad idea but i was losing my balance annd oh yes. i stumble and now the poor guy is awake and his head is now buried into my crotch while i have almost fallen over the back of the seat and have knocked a drink over on the woman behind him. Why am i always the least popular person on the plane??? Good bye america i will miss you...
Posted by Paul 9:38 am 0 comments
The Holiday Diaries: Los Angeles/Las Vegas May 2004 - Day 14
Friday, November 10, 2006
Friday 14th May 2004
Waking up to rita rudners dreadful ' ask rita' show is just not as satisfying as waking up to ryan seacrest's radio show in LA (seriously - when does the guy ever sleep - 6 morning radio shows, 5 daily talk shows, 2 american idol shows??? plus shopping for suits and sneakers - so needs his hair rehighlighted)Today on Ask Rita, she had herself surrounded with z list comedians who i really believe think they are funny. One question was 'people think that i am funny at work - could i be a comedian?' You could see the look of horror on everyones face. They were all mortified "oh no ordinary people can't be funny like us, its a gift a calling. you only think you're funny, etc. etc." Stars have such fragile egos...
Spent most of the day shopping and driving and singing aling to the Connie and Carla soundtrack. In the evening we went to see this free show outside Treasure Island (or TI as it is 'trendily' now known) called sirens. its about 5 scantily dressed women (a ginger one a scary one a posh one, you get the picture...) who can only sing somewhat, compensate for their shoddy dancing skills by seducing men with their attitude and breasts. So THATS what the spice girls are up to nowadays. Still the show was a fairly entertaining pirate romp musical (cd available in the lobby. Really!) but nowhere near as classy as the fountains display to music at the front of the bellagio (oceans 11 hotel) They set it to 'ONE' from Chorus Line and it was exquisite. Unlike all the other hotels on the strip, the Bellagio doesn't need a gimmick to lure people in. I hesitate to use the word classy to often as i feel it cheapens everything. I always think country bumpkins use it when they see the indoor flushing bathroom facilities at dennys.
To end our lovely day of sophistication, we went t get a 3/4lb hotdog from westward ho - the trailer park casino of vegas. There is something however, suprememly satisfying about eating cheap meat (insert own joke here) and playing cheap slots (insert own joke here) and being served by cheap women (westward ho's??) to round off your day.
Go home day after tomorrow. Sad already
Posted by Paul 5:51 am 3 comments
