The Holiday Diaries: Los Angeles/Las Vegas - May 2004 (Day One)
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Saturday may 1st 2004 - drive down to airport was slow and boring. have checked into one of paris' dads hotels at the gatwick Airport. The room is massive - no wonder Paris is forced to do tv shows like the simple life. There can't be much profit on this room. While Darren was investigating the cavernous bathroom, i wrote him a saucy note ('you have a massive love muscle ) to hide under his pillow as a joke, but he came out too soon so i didn't have time to hide it had to abandon after drawing an associated visual...
Later... OH MY GOD! am absolutely mortified. Was lying in gigantic double bed (which has to be the size of my entire upstairs at home) sans clothes, when there is a knock at the door. Sent darren to answer it as he is dressed - and you can't see the bed from the door. Turns out it was one of the hotel staff getting his numbers wrong. Darren decides to ask him about the shower (as it has come off the wall) so he has quick look. he then decides to call reception about it and walks round the corner and sees me naked (apart from quickly and strategically placed sheet) leaning on my hand like some F***ing gay aphrodite watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. For a second our eyes lock and I'm not sure who went redder - him or naive looking Ian who couldn't be a day over seventeen...he shuffles over to the phone while i try to make myself look as invisible as possible. Poor ian stares at the phone for about an hour (ten seconds), mumbles something about it being broken and literally runs out of the room.
I leap out of bed, put some clothes on and start yelling at Darren about letting him in while i was in bed when he could have sent him away - a 'sorry wrong room' type of deal. My eyes fall to the allegedly broken phone and to my extreme horror, see that in big letters right next to said phone is a note saying 'Darren has a massive love muscle' with lewd and charming accompanying picture. Oh. My. god.
No wonder Ian ran from the room like a squealing pig - if he wasn't homophobic before he will be now! (or curious!!)
Part two of 17 (!) tomorrow
Posted by Paul 8:36 am
How funny, though... When we did our London-Canary Islands-London trip in '03, we flew into and out of Gatwick... but on the layover night before we left back for L.A., we stayed in Copthorne Manor, wherever that may be. It was very ancient and stuffy.