The Holiday Diaries: Los Angeles/Las Vegas May 2004 - Day Two (part one)
Sunday, October 08, 2006
After checking out of hotel in baseball cap and sunglasses (due to paranoia that newly homophobic Ian (or newly gay curious) (hey can you have parenthesis within parenthesis) has outed me to entire reception staff), its time to catch the coach to the airport. Coach is so full that darren and i are separated (oh the heartache). Darren sits next to this group of men who look like they would club him like a baby seal if they knew he was man on man inclined. I get mr Average american and his latest purchase, a miserable looking and much younger Thai bride (1985 model) Thai bride isn't enjoying the coach journey, so i spend the next forty minutes trying to ignore her wretching her phlegm into a kwik-save bag. i feel it is futile to point out that the bag has a hole at the bottom and most of the mucas cocktail is dripping over her crimpoline skirt.
At the start of the film Love ...actually, hunky prime minister Hugh Grant narrates that the airport is a great place to see people full of hope, love and anticipation. That is so true. Today, however, the airport isn't quite as idyllic as the film makes out. instead it is full of people rushing and pushing and complaining that there are too many people in line at starbucks. Oh well. I choose only to see the magic until a tiny spanish woman swings her backpack onto her shoulder (which surely must be full of potatoes it is so heavy), knocks me flying and then mutters something rude AT ME!!! I am soon as bitter and twisted as everyone else.
The toffifee candy in duty free reminds of the time i bought 3 boxes of the stuff and darren told me that i had to eat them all before i got on the plane due to custom restrictions. I was begrudgingly plowing through box three (I certainly wasn't going to waste any at £3.75 per box) before darren admitted he had made it up. I was very unattracted to him for several minutes and have been able to look at a toffifee since...Flight is finally called and we excitedly trot down to the plane. Even a slightly unflattering reflection of me in the mirrored wall (slight paunch, blotchy skin) fails to dampen my enthusiasm. Surely must be fun house mirror as I work out religiously (Christmas, Easter, Chrismukkah, rashashan kwanza etc)
Part two of day two (the aeroplane) to follow...
Posted by Paul 4:57 am
