The Holiday Diaries: Los Angeles/Las Vegas May 2004 - Day Two (Part Three)
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Sunday may 2nd 2004 - the aeroplane (still!)
EVEN LATER!!!I seriously cannot take Darren anywhere without him spilling omething on himself. We were in Spain once and he was quite drunk. Now when Darren gets drunk he is extremely horny. Before he gets horny however, he gets hungry and is consumed by, well, an all consuming passion for something fat and greasy. no, i mean a cheeseburger of course! So he stops by this street vendors cart that you wouldn't feed a dog from and buys this incredibly fatty and greasy looking cheeseburger. I am pushing him down the street as his legs seem to lose the inability to walk when he is intoxicated. The burger is everywhere, pavement, hands tshirt... its not until darren has scooped some curious looking greenish melted tshirt into his mouth off his tshirt, that i realise a bird is pooping on him as we speak. And he has scooped the lot into his mouth. EW EW EW! Still what you don't know can't hurt you...
Anyway, back to the plane - darren manages to get through his sausage kobler without any spillages. The chocolate mousse is a different story. As soon as he takes the top off the brown gunk explodes all over his beige t shirt. This is worse than the bird poo - because it looks like real poo. i, between my barely masked smirks, advise him to dab at it with club soda - the miracle cure for everything on aeroplanes. he does so with his yellow serviette. bad Idea. He now has two yellow brownish circles with browner centres alarmingly placed where his nipples are. At least people are staring at him now....
EVEN LATER STILL!!!I do not deal with turbulence well. It was a particularly bumpy landing and i thought my heart would fail when an oxygen mask came down from above my head. I realise now that i may have overreacted when i creamed in a high pitched voice 'Oh Sweet baby Jesus, no!' and grabbed the mask, placing it over my head and taking in deep breaths of precious life. Especially as my oxygen mask was the only one to come down on the whole plane, due to a loose screw. Back to staring at me.
Coming soon - the first real day in america...
Posted by Paul 11:54 am
Might you have meant "screamed in a high pitched voice"?
;)