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The Florida 2010 Diaries ~ part one

Monday 29th November 2010:

Hurrah (said in a deeply sarcastic voice). It is travel day. The only downside to a dream holiday is the amount of time it takes to get there. Manchester to Orlando in "just 8 hours" is a bit of a lie because it becomes over 12 hours once you (x) factor in check in, immigration, car pick up, etc. Still it's freezing cold and I'm happy that the plane isn't snowed in. Leaving the de-icer in the car though was a bit of a neddy no no. It is beyond cold and my fingers can barely wrap around it. While Darren takes the difficult job of warming the car up ("my body heat will help the temperature rise"), I fumbled around with the piddly de-icer that instead of releasing a magnificent ice killing spray, a single jet emerged making the job twice as hard. By the time I was done, my gloves were actually frozen to the can. Yeeshk.

At check in, I managed to charm slender check in dude into upgrading our seats. I can be very delightful when I want to be. We went straight through to the executive lounge (block capital alert) BECAUSE THERE IS NO STARBUCKS AT MANCHESTER AIRPORT!!! I wept. AND IT WAS THE WORST EXECUTIVE LOUNGE EVER> For starters it was tiny and overbooked. I had to squeeze in next to a sour faced looking lady who was so obese her body cascaded like jelly over the few inches into my chair. The "full menu" included cold toast and dry croissants. Yum. And they guy who looked like Storm Lee opposite me opened an unwelcome conversation with "God, I hope there are no asians on this flight." HOW RUDE. I mean what do you say to that. I gave him a withering look and shifted away from the racist bigot. God, people can be vile.

Amazingly, the flight was actually quite nice. Decent seats, ok food, not too crowded. I settled down, started reading Next Queen of Heaven by Gregory Maguire (of Wicked fame) and watched Disney's A Christmas Carol (Jim Carrey not brilliant Muppets version), Easy A (it's no Mean Girls but it had it's moments, a decent soundtrack and a yum Penn Badgeley) and Toy Story 3. This is still emotionally devastating and I was weeping from the hand-hold of Jessie and Buzz right through to the end. Sniffle. It was almost ruined halfway through when a bloke walked past my chair and let out a blast of bottom wind so hot and forceful that it went straight to my eyes and throat. It burnt and stung for a good ten minutes. Vile. He did have the good grace to look chagrinned on the walk back. Vile.

Arrived. Got car. Went to hotel. Checked in. Slept. See you tomorrow!!

Tuesday 30th November 2010:

Of course I was up ridiculously early - about 4am. Oh well. This means I had time to catch up on Glee and Entertainment Weekly before a full day out at Universal Island of Adventure. We get a nice cooked breakfast as part of our hotel suite package. We went down to enjoy it, and while we were waiting (no one was around), Darren helped himself to a coffee - only to be interrupted by a large woman called Shaneisha who yelled "oh no you di'n't" and chased us out (LITERALLY) into the actual cooked breakfast room next door. Oops. The thief.

We went straight to Universal IofA because I could not wait to experience the Harry Potter stuff they had built since I was last here (2008). $15 to park the car!! I was agog and aghast (is Marius in love at last). I've bent over for less... Are they not making enough from sales of the slightly yucky butterbear... Still, all parked up, we were a bit early so went for a yummy starbucks. So much cheaper than the UK and so much more choice. On the advice of TRWhite88 I had a salted caramel hot chocolate, which the entire store (ie 2 staff and Darren) were watching intently to see if I would enjoy. it was nice, then different, then unusual but overall I've had worse in my mouth and swallowed so I think I will probably have one again.

There was a bit of a line to get in, which were quite close to the front of. There was a charming British family in front who were intent on having a good time - mom "Shannon, stop being stressed because then you will stress me out and then it will get all unpleasant". (All Shannon had said was "i'm looking forward to Flight of the Hippogriff"). Dad "if you don't take that look off your face, I will slap you silly". charming. Someone set Bellatrix LeStrange on their arses!! Once the park had opened, I expected people to run to Hogsmeade, but there were quite a lot of large people and large people in motorised scooters so we easily power walked past them to the part of the part where the descriptive words of JK Rowling came to life. And bloody amazing it was too. I decree it the new most magical place on earth. Hogsmeade and Hogswart look as real as anything you've seen in the movies and a meticulous attention to detail reveals fantastic delights everywhere. The rides are pretty wonderful too with Journey into the Forbidden Forest being the giddy best. Though it did make me feel a bit pukey. I'm not quite the rollercoaster riding spring chicken I used to be...

The rest of the day was a pleasant whirl of rides and shows. Incredibly hot day and not too busy so went back to hotel to have a bit of a relax. Plus wanted to catch up on my 2nd favourite famous couple (after Katilliam) - Gyllenswift/Swillenhall! Love it...

More tomorrow....

Posted by Paul 12:57 am  

1 Comment:

  1. Mark said...
    I laughed out loud at your comment about the large people and large people in motorised scooters. I was nearly one of those people: although I am not large I had severe strep throat in Florida and kept trying to get my friends to let me get a motorised scooter...

    When I was there they were building Harry Potter land...sounds fantastic!

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