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The Florida 2010 Diaries ~ Part 3

Read part one here...
Read part two here...

Friday 4th December 2010 ~

Ooo the day at Disney Hollywood Studios was the best day :) Once again we were pretty much the first at the ticket gate due to still waking up at a totally ridick hour. Today, this worked in our favour. Much like the X Factor with Cher Lloyd, Disney has created a monster with Toy Story Midway Mania. This was much much worse that the racing to rides at any other park. Parents had walkie talkies, telling kids that the slightest delay would impact on how long they had to wait and totally ruin their day/life and it would all be that child's fault. i exaggerate not. I was first at my ticket booth and when non nipple gazing Disney cast member opened it up, my entrance pass wouldn't go through. Oops. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!" screamed the normally delightful (probably) mom (with a lot of spit on my neck. Ew) behind me. Sheesh! Then we were all led by a velvet rope to the ride and I let Darren do his best. I am rubbish at barging past people in an angry mob, but Darren has no such compunction. He is like the emotionless Dexter of crowd control. He weaves in and out expertly, taking kids down and even had time to stop and glare at an old fella who ran over his foot with a motorised scooter. By the time I had (fairly speedily) got to the ride, Darren had put seething Disney moms to shame by getting fast passes and meeting me at the start of the minimal line. Amazes.

As we waited in line, we put the fastpasses away (9.43am - 10.43am) and a different normally delightful probably mom behind me announced loudly in her best WASP passive-aggressive tone to no one in particular "I think it's so unfair when adults with no kids get fastpasses. It takes them selfishly away from families". "Kids are baby goats" I retorted "and we're getting two more fast passes for tonight when we get off" I added just as Disney crew member asked for a party of two and I minced past about 20 people to the front of the line. SCORE!

(the ride, if you haven't been on it is brilliantly simplistic 4-D shooting game that anyone can do and is ridiculously fun. And yes, by the time we had ridden it, gone for a jimmy riddle and joined the fifteen minute line just to get later fastpasses, we got some of the last few and rode it for a third time just before the lights were switched on for the Christmas spectacular. Three times, no lines. Brillopants. Even more brillopants was that we saw selfish fastpasses passive aggressive mom just as we got out of the fastpass line for the 2nd time and I waved the tickets at her. she looked furious and probably ranted non-stop to her poor hen pecked husband about it. i felt no guilt. Ooo maybe I'm Dexter!)

So after avoiding 100 minute long lines for Toy Story Mania, we pretty much partook of everything the park had to offer - rides, shows, Disney museum and oh, American Idol: The Experience. This is essentially a mini version of the show. if you so desire you can audition and they choose the best 3 from each audition session to sing to the audience at 5-6 shows during the day. I was going to audition for a laugh but they didn't have Cee-Lo's F*** You. I can understand that, but they didn't even have mariah's all I want for christmas is you. Surely that is a crime against Santa?! Anyway, the show we watched had a pre-audience warm up from Disney Crew Member Mike - WHO HAD LONGER FINGERS THAN DEVON!! - and interspersed with "how great is this attraction" clips from people like Ryan Seacrest, Lee Dwayze, Kris Allen, David Cook, Adam Lambert, Jordin Sparks, some guy who came 5th last year and had won the guaranteed audition ticket that each ultimate daily winner gets and uh Justin Guarini. Clearly Kelly and Carrie are too successful (and Ryan is contractually obligated). We got some grizzled old navy seal doing a not sexy Sway (old and navy as in woo the troops, not the store, though judging from his too bright fleece, who knows?), some Justin Beiber wannabe, nervous as heck, Christian choir singing kid called Eric and some girl called Sarah, who if she was on the x-factor would get through just because she is quirky. Not because she could sing. Though she ennunciated mouthally worse than the vicar of dibley in the songs of praise episode. We voted for Eric because a) it was his birthday and apparently we have killed enough kids dreams today with our fast pass selfishness and b) one day he will realise he won't be giving his parents grandkids. As the seats next to us were empty too, they voted for Eric and he won the chance to sing in the night's finale (which we didn't watch). Woo hoo dreams restored.

Other highlights:

  • Darren agreeing to come and see the hideously edited Beauty and the Beast musical (30 mins! no Human Again! only half of Gaston! Surely they could have changed it to the Christmas one?) becaause he knows it is one of my favourite musicals of all time.
  • Darren doing his BEST ACTING EVER when at said musical, the couple behind had their maps out and were planning the rest of their day! DURING THE TITLE SONG! "Do you mind, i'm trying to watch this" he chided and made it sound entirely plausible even though i know he was bored silly.
  • The Osborne Spectable of Dancing Lights being turned on at dusk with fake snow and Christmas music. It really is quite lovely and I was filled with christmas spirit (possibly the festive margherita I was drinking to wash away the taste of cardboardy pretzel I had just bought. Yuck = buyer's remorse). Everyone seemed genuinely happy away from the pressure of Toy Story and I even fist bumped a guy in passing wearing a "Dudes marry dudes, get over it" t-shirt. Joy to the world indeed!!

More soon!!

Posted by Paul 12:39 am  


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